What I will miss the most.....
Its Saturday morning and I had my youngest son with me all night. Great discussions about school, athletics and driving. I purchased a car a couple of weeks ago for him and its a 5 speed... he loves it but is a bit apprehensive of driving a manual all the time. He will grow into it!
We had dinner at a Mexican place last night after they arrived...Just Jake, Ian and myself. It was calming for me just listening to Jake's stories about his cruise in Mexico and Ian's bike trip to North Carolina. The look on Jake's face was priceless when he found out about the additional charges on his I-Phone when he was in Mexico..."Sorry Dad" meant more to me tonight then ever.
As I sat and listened to the boys deep down I knew I would miss them as my time approaches. Both boys have grown so much...not just in size but more importantly....in maturity. The way they carry a conversation, the manner in which the engage others...it was refreshing to see my boys as what they have become...young men.
I spoke with Sheila last night just before meeting a friend to discuss my prognosis. I felt the emotion in Sheila's voice and her deep concern not only for me but for the boys as well. She has done a remarkable job with them and I feel that once the news is given to them her strength will be tested again...but she is strong and what I got from our conversation is she is prepared. That is all I could ask for.
Its amazing the thoughts that go through your head in this type of situation. I remember so much about the boys and our life...the things we've done and the places we have been. I am so proud of them for what they have accomplished as well as what they will do in the future...I have a picture of them in New Hampshire from 2002...it was a ski trip we went on together...just the three of us. I remember the emotion of that trip...the crispness of the air...the ability of the boys to command the slopes and the camaraderie that comes from a father/son relationship.
I look at the picture and I cry...for those are the moments that I will miss the most...the times with the boys...teaching them and leading them in pursuits of growth and challenge. I have had this discussion with Sheila...she knows the importance of these pursuits and she will continue to challenge and hold them accountable...I know they have been and will always be in good hands...
And I will always look in on them