"You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it."
I had a wonderful discussion with a friend tonight on the topic of life and love...of loving not only another... but also taking care of oneself. This friend was able to put into context what has happened in my life and how my actions have impacted - both in a positive and negative light - many people.
I look back and I can’t begin to tell you the number of dysfunctional relationships that I have had myself involved in and refused to let go of ... but there comes a point when you realize that it is a cycle…and this is what my friend was stating…that it is a cycle that needs to be broken. There comes a time when you have had enough of living in such instability...and more importantly...insanity.
I realized a long time ago that only I can correct such situations and prevent myself from experiencing them over and over…I took a stand and said NO MORE. Of course it was HARD…I felt like crap for quite some time, but, it was worth it. Eventually the sickness in my stomach went away; the nervous butterflies vanished, and suddenly I had found myself again, only much wiser and quite a bit stronger.
I remember early on in my doctorate studies I was dealing with a lot of couples…and each of them stated the same thing…relationships are not easy friends…it's not like you are going to meet someone and it's just going to fall in place. They take commitment, trust, communication, stability, consistency, and honesty. Simply saying I love you does not cut it…it’s the actions that follow those words prove them to be true…and I know that!
Thank you my friend…it meant more coming from you then you will ever know.
Goodnight!
Brian
I Sit and Wonder
I often sit and wonder
In life just where I’d be
To touch her face just one more time
In love…so much I see
She is an eternal blessing
Her heart shone ever true
I lay awake and think at night
My love…she never knew
My life has changed so much
That time beats ever still
In months…oh so it seems
I climb that rocky hill
I search the darkness for the light
In a world that knows only pain
But when I find my one true love
Lest my search be not…in vain
I often sit and wonder
In life just where I’d be
Without her love to follow
Lost…is what I see
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